Mario Gets Around
by eliteanimemaster420basedgod
Summary: Mario has a terrible day.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - LUIGI GETS PLUNGED**

It was a beautiful summer morning, with bright rays of sunshine blazing through the window blinds. Mario awoke to the sound of moaning and folds of skin slapping together. "The fuck? You woke me up!" the portly plumber exclaimed. He waited for a response, but there was none. He thought to himself. Who the fuck could be ramming now? He lazily pulled off his cumstained covers and rose to his feet. Trudging to Luigi's room, he was shocked to find him raping Yoshi. In a fit of rage, he screamed, "It's not your turn today, pencil dick!" Luigi gasped and immediately pulled out from Yoshi's dino rectum. "B-bro! I can expl-" Luigi was cut short by Mario's flaccid dong whapping him in the face. "Shut your goddamn mouth! You know the rules, faggot!" "Mama Mia, I'm really getting into some shit this time," Luigi thought. Luigi knew what he had to do to quell the wrath- and sick lust- of his demented brother. He got on his knees and bent over. "Will this do, bro?" Mario let out a chuckle. "Let me get my... tools of the trade." He walked over to the cupboard containing his plumbing utilities. After browsing for a moment, he decided on using a plunger. "Buckle up, paisano! It's time to clear your pipes!" Luigi was screaming internally. He knew what was coming. Every footstep was a thousand years to Luigi. As Mario approached, he started to cry. Mario noticed. "Faggot, suck it up! Speaking of which..." He put the plunger on Luigi's wide butthole. "Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to..." He kept singing, but Luigi didn't notice. Once Mario started pumping the plunger in and out, he realized it wasn't half bad! A stifled moan escaped Luigi's lips. "You got it! It's the Mario!" Luigi's hand autonomously reached down to his "spaghetti and meatballs". He started sliding his hand up and down his shaft. Mario decided to join him. This went on for a couple minutes, with the singing and moaning and jacking, until both of them let loose some "creamy ranch dressing." Mario pulled his plunger from Luigi. Shit covered the entire head of it, coating the rubber with a thick brown paste. The paint peeling stench made Luigi vomit. "Disgusting." Mario and Luigi got back to their feet. The doorbell rang. Mario couldn't be assed to actually put some clothes on, so he opened the door with his still-throbbing, dripping member poking at whoever was out there. "Oh, shi-" Mario would have finished if he hadn't been whacked with a 2x4. Luigi was still in his room thrusting at Yoshi with his schlong. "Did you hear something?" Luigi knew that Yoshi was an animal and had absolutely no way to respond, but he asked anyway. Yoshi made a gurgling noise, spurted his load, and suddenly keeled over, dead. "Oh," Luigi sighed. "Hey, Bro! Gonna need a new fucktoy, the last one is dead." No response. "Bro? You there?" Silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - MARIO GETS A VASECTOMY**

Mario awoke with a sack covering his head. He heard a familiar voice growl "He's awake. Take it off." Suddenly, the sack was torn off of him and he could see. A single, dim lamp swayed above him. He was tied to a chair, still naked. "Good. I want you to feel all of what I'm going to do to you." He started thinking "who would want to do something to me?" The person slowly walked into his line of sight. He recognized him now... it was Sonic. "So, fat boy! How does it feel to be in the spotlight, huh? ME having to go onto YOUR console? Whatever happened to the Sega Saturn? The fucking WII? What kind of name is Wii anyway? That's so fucking stu..." He continued his ranting and raving. Mario was panicking. He writhed and squirmed, trying to get free, until he noticed the rusty hook and sewing needle on the small table beside him. He froze. "W-what are you gonna do to me?" Sonic slowly walked over to the table and picked up the hook. "I'm gonna have some fun!" Mario barely managed to yelp out, "You do-you don't understand! I never meant to do this! It just happened!" A sly smile played across Sonic's face. "Too bad!" Sonic had obviously gone insane. There was no reasoning with him, and Mario realized that. Sonic edged closer, thrusting the hook in his face. "See this? This is gonna go in your nuts." Mario couldn't believe it. He thought he was just going to kill him. At least with that route he wouldn't have to suffer for too long. "Well, Mario! Time for your vasectomy." "Oh god no!" Mario yelped. Sonic began his sick operation. He slowly worked the tip of the hook into the apex of Mario's scrotum. Pain and fear pulsed through Mario's body. Sonic twisted the hook, then yanked out and downward. Mario's balls split open with a disgusting shlorp! Mario was screaming without end at this point. Sonic fished through Mario's testes, looking for the vasa deferentia. "Ooh, looks like spaghetti! How fitting for you, buddy!" He pulled it out and made an incision with the hook. Mario couldn't take it anymore. He started flailing about and tried to bite at Sonic. "That's no good!" He socked Mario in the face. He settled back down. Sonic set down the hook and grabbed the sewing needle and thread. He held the severed parts of the vasa deferentia and sewed a blockade with the thread inside the tube. Threading through the ends of the tubes, he stitched them back together. He sewed the scrotum back together. "We're all done here, Mario! Did you have fun?" Mario's screaming didn't stop. "Well, time for you to go home!" Mario felt the same 2x4 come down onto his head with a satisfying crack.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - MARIO TAKES A TRIP**

Mario awoke back in his house with Luigi's member in his mouth, pumping in and out. Luigi jolted backward. "Oh, shit! I- I'm so sorry!" Mario tore Luigi's dick from his mouth and got to his feet. "Asswipe." Mario was hoping what he just experienced was just a bad dream. He looked down. Seeing the stitches, he flipped his shit. After calming down, he saw the dead Yoshi in the corner. "Goddamn it, Luigi! What did you do this time?" "He just fell over and died, bro! I don't know why!" "Shit, Luigi. You're costing me more every day." Mario went to his room and put on some overalls. "God knows how long these have gone unwashed." White splotches on the crotch area didn't do it any justice either. Mario didn't care. Putting on his shoes and hat, he got in the car and went to the adult superstore. The radio was blaring horrible country music. "Mama fuckin' Mia! This is terrible! What the hell does Luigi listen to?" Too lazy to turn it off, he continued driving. Out the window, he saw somebody sucking dick in an alleyway. "Everything is bullshit," he muttered to himself. He started to think about how he just got his tubes tied. He could never father children again. "Whatever, that one whore I fucked in Dinosaur Land has 6 Baby Marios to deal with. I don't need any more little shits flying out of my penis," he said to nobody in particular. Once he arrived at the adult superstore, he got out of his car and walked to the door. He walked inside and looked around. He saw dildos, flesh lights, buttplugs... They had everything! "I'm only here for one thing, though," he thought to himself. Walking to the back of the smoky shithole, he came to a door labeled "STABLE". Opening the door and walking inside, he noticed the shady looking Toad in the corner. "Suck you dick five coin?" "Not now, Jerry. I'm here for... a 'special pet.'" "Oh, you want good fuckee Yoshi boy? Good, good, good, 10 coin, very good." He looked at the scraggly pack of animals. He selected one with a huge monster cock almost as long as his forearm. "You'll do fine," he said to the Yoshi. Turning around to face the strange Toad, he said, "I'll take big boy over there. The red one." The Toad removed a key from his pocket and opened up the cages. He took a leash from the wall and locked it around the Yoshi's neck. Struggling to pull out his sack of coins, he took ten out of it and put it in the Toad's hand. "Good, good, good, he yours. You have fun." Mario took the leash from the Toad and lead the Yoshi out of the building. "Hey there, big guy. Do you want to have fun?" he asked the Yoshi. Obviously, it is an animal and does not understand him, but he asked anyway. He pushed the Yoshi into the back seat of his car and drove to the countryside. He lead the Yoshi to a beautiful field and said, "Let's play," as he began unbuttoning his overalls. His two incher was growing to its full length as he began walking behind the Yoshi. He fitted his chode into the Yoshi's unsuspecting anus and began pumping. It let out a strange gurgling sound as he worked it in and out. It tried to run, but Mario stepped on the leash, whispering "Just relax. You'll get used to it soon." The Yoshi was frantically trying to escape Mario's grasp to no avail. Every time it would move away, Mario would pull the leash closer. The cycle continued until Mario spewed his load into the unwilling Yoshi's anus. "Oh, boy! That was incredible!" He put his clothes back on, leash still under his foot. He grabbed the leash and dragged him back to the car, but he refused to get in. "Come on, boy! Get in!" The Yoshi was using every ounce of its strength to resist. Mario punched it in the back of the head as hard as he could, knocking out the poor dinosaur. Hauling it inside, semen still leaking from its anus, he shut the door, started the car and drove home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - LUIGI TRIES BDSM THEN DIES A SUDDEN, TRAGIC DEATH**

Meanwhile, as Mario was out getting a new "friend", Luigi was bored out of his mind. "What am I gonna do?" He had already raped the Yoshi's corpse and his arm was sore. He decided to check Craigslist for some whores. Browsing through the selection of sluts, he decided one one. "'Mistress of the Widow?' That sounds interesting..." He called up the number and later met with the slut. He was surprised to see she had a whip and collar. "Get on your knees, bitch," she said. "Oh, so it's THAT kind of thing," Luigi thought aloud. "Did I give you permission to speak, bitch?" Luigi obeyed and got on his knees. He felt the collar on his neck. Suddenly, a huge boulder fell on Luigi, killing him instantly. His body was turned into a thick red paste with flecks of bone strewn throughout. It was a closed casket funeral. Mario went on to become a serial rapist who severed the arms of his victims and hung them from the ceiling. After a 10 year reign of terror, he was finally caught and executed by a firing squad. Jerry the Toad was found dead in a roadside ditch. The end.


End file.
